Blue Toes – It’s the Little Things

Rylie’s hospital stay spanned Mother’s Day weekend. With everything going on, it was a tough holiday for me. I wanted to be anywhere but the hospital, but I also didn’t want to leave. I wanted my daughter to open her eyes and laugh at me for worrying about her....
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The Power of a Phone Call

Not that long ago, I got a surprise phone call from a sweet friend. Not a text. Not a Marco Polo recorded message. An honest-to-goodness phone call. I almost didn’t answer because I’d just gotten home from work and was feeling kind of frazzled, but I did. That phone...
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The Sweet Taste of Memories

I remember being at Grandad’s funeral and my mom telling a story of the sounds of Grandad. Grandad was a man of measured words. He often was quiet, but when he spoke everyone listened because it was bound to be a well-thought out response that would leave the rest...
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To Receive is Active

I love when I read a book or blog post and it feels as though the author is my long, lost soul sister. When it feels like the very words on the page were written just for me. When it is as if the author is looking into my...
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Sneak Attack from Ry

There are times that Rylie sneaks up on me unexpectedly. I love it when that happens, because I can pretend. I can picture the way that she would sneak up on me if she were still here. I have no doubt that she’d find ways to sneak quietly into...
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Footprints in the Snow

I went out for a snowy run partially because I love running in the elements, and partially because I’m a glutton for punishment. The way I see it, the snow and wind just add a little pizazz, making my brain and muscles work slightly differently than normal. As I...
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Thinking Outside the Box and Coloring Between the Lines

When I was in first grade, I vividly remember coming home with my first bad grade, complete with red marks from my teacher.  My mom sat with me and we went over the worksheet in an effort to try and figure out the disconnect. As I sat with my...
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What I Didn’t See Coming – Christmas 2017

One of the first lessons you learn when grieving a loss, is to steel yourself for certain significant moments.  You plan for the “big days” – like birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries of the death, etc. You learn quickly that the days leading up to the event are often harder than...
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Christmas Ornaments & The Stories They Tell

There’s an ornament on our tree that hangs front and center now.  It’s a beautiful glass ornament with Rylie’s face shining through.  Surrounding her, the lights of the tree twinkle through the glass and glimmer off the gold sequins that rest inside it.   It’s the perfect ornament in so...
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Wrestling with Surrender – Part 2

When I wrestle, I run.  Literally…   Science has shown that bilateral movement helps our brains process challenging things.  My counselor explained it to me one time and I was fascinated – not only because it’s just interesting, but because it helped explain why when things get tough I run. ...
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