As with most things in life, this blog is part of a journey. One that doesn’t seem to have a destination in mind, and feels as though it has just begun even though it’s been at least two years in the making.
This journey began on April 29, 2017, the first of two dates that changed my life forever. My daughter, Rylie, and I were enjoying a day of mom and daughter time. We were shopping for new running shoes, as I was training for an Ironman, when a car drove through the store where we were shopping.
It was a complete fluke – the driver of the car experienced a medical emergency – but it altered the course of my life.
Rylie was found pinned under the car and not only sustained a traumatic brain injury from the impact, but also an anoxic brain injury as she was without oxygen for about ten minutes. We spent twenty-eight days in the hospital by Rylie’s side, fighting, praying, hoping that she would come back to us.
Ultimately, that was not the case. Rylie died on May 26, 2017, the second day that changed my life forever. She was twelve and a half years old.
Of course, these events impacted our lives – mine, my husband’s and my son’s. It impacted the lives of many more.
Losing Rylie has been the most devastating thing I have ever experienced, but it has also come with many gifts.
Early in our hospital stay, Ziggy and I realized that we had two choices: let this beat us down, or let it bring us up. We have made the conscious decision – everyday – to choose the latter. We’ve chosen to look for the positive. To learn from the experience. To positively impact those around us.
That is the journey – the choice to do our best and put one foot in front of the other – even on the days when that feels impossible. Sure there’s a lot about grief on this blog, but there’s a lot about life. It’s a space where I have processed the tragedy, the loss. It’s a space where I’ve delved into what makes me tick, what drives me nuts, and how I hope to grow. It’s a space where I’ve opened my heart, in a way that is only possible when my fingers hit the keyboard, baring my soul, sharing my fears, and inviting you alongside.
It is my sincere hope that these stories will strike a chord with you. Whether you are navigating a loss of your own, working to learn and grow as a person, or just seek a place of authentic connection. Welcome! Welcome home.